At the half-way point of the season, the Kansas City Royals are, once again, in last place. Although I have only watched about three innings of Royals baseball this season before getting bored and switching to another game, I feel that I am more than qualified to grade the team's performance.

The "Hitters"

C - John Buck
Spent the first half of last year 3rd on Houston's organizational depth chart, blocked by heavy hitters Brad Ausmus (.248/.306/.325) and Raul Chavez (.210/.256/.259). His opportunity arose when the Astros somehow managed to trade him and some crappy pitcher for Carlos Beltran. Now he's a crappy catcher for a crappy team in the majors.
Grade: E+

1B/RF - Matt Stairs
You know you're in good shape when you have Matt Stairs hitting cleanup. Whoa, I just put "Matt Stairs" and "in good shape" in the same sentence. Its funny because he's really a fat guy.
Grade: C+

2B - Ruben Gotay
Ruben performed well enough in AA last year to earn a promotion to Kansas City. Apparently, even the Royals management considers themselves to be a AAA team.
Grade: C

SS - Angel Berroa
Still trying to regain his 2003 Rookie of the Year form. However, unless they legalize roids quick, the Royals are stuck with the new Pat Listach.
Grade: D-

3B - Mark Teahen
Rounding out the Royals' AAA infield is Moneyball hero Mark Teahen. I do believe he'll become a decent player, but the Royals will have traded him for prospects by then.
Grade: D+

LF - Terrence Long
The only thing more awesome than Matt Stairs batting cleanup is Terrence Long batting third.
Grade: D

CF - David DeJesus
Finally, something for Royals' fans to get excited about - DeJesus has the potential to become a mediocre major league outfielder.
Grade: C

RF - Emil Brown
Career minor leaguer Brown has come out of nowhere to put together a pretty good year, so far. Imagine how bad the Royals will be when he returns to earth and is back to his .650 OPS self.
Grade: B

DH/1B - Mike Sweeney
He's declined a bit since the roid crackdown, but is still a legitimate major leaguer. Could go down in history as the Royals' best hitter since Bob "The Hammer" Hamelin. That is, if they don't trade him for some overrated Yankee prospect first.
Grade: B-

Throwers

RHP - Jose Lima
In his second time around with the Royals, he's actually managed to be even worse than before. Plus he has herpes now.
Grade: F-

RHP - Runelvys Hernandez
One of the bright spots in the rotation, Hernandez has at times approached average. He should get better as the season moves along, as he recovers from Tommy John surgery.
Grade: C+

RHP - Zack Greinke
Performed well as a rookie in 2004 after being rushed to the majors. Too bad he sucks now. I don't know why he sucks but I'm sure he's trying hard. Maybe its because the Royals forgot they have a AAA team. He's pretty good in MVP 2005 so thats a plus.
Grade: C-

RHP - DJ Carrasco
He's actually performed well this season in the Royals rotation. I'll bet he's just really lucky.
Grade: B+

LHP - JP Howell
Oh Royals, who WON'T you rush to the majors?
Grade: F+

Conclusion

The Royals should probably just switch over to AAA and be done with it, since that seems to be the direction team management is taking them. Omaha must be jealous.